Healing obsessive loving

a BIG fear...

if I give up obsession, I will be giving up LOVE itself.

(For my obsessive clients, the idea of giving up a lover or the pursuit of a former lover, even for a short time, seems inconceivable. It's as if they were being asked to give up breathing!!)

"Just let go..." he said. Do you have ANY idea of what that sounds like to me in my body??
...


Until now I have been putting the responsibility of my emotional well being in the hands of my lover. If my lover accepted me, I was in heaven, if they rejected me I was in hell. This sort of misplaced responsibility is unfair to my lover and it's unfair to me.

I am going to become obsessed with finding my own misplaced dignity, my confidence, my self-worth, AND my ability to love in a healthy, nourishing way.

I do this for myself, not to "win back" my lover. They may or may not find their way back to me. I am finding my way back to myself. To be at peace within myself.

to untangle obsession from loving.