They miss a key point that this 'turning toward one another' cannot happen if one or both partners have unhealed childhood trauma which is being triggered (it always will be) by the other.
By healing early life wounds the nervous system begins to stabilize and
buffer and so there is time for rational responses. The fastest way to
heal these wounds is to open them up and wash them out.
Simon Tzu
...
to feel into the emotional body...
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